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• 

  Julie and Julia

  Posted: January 14th, 2010, 12:29pm PST by shopa

  

  As I was watching Julie and Julia for the second time now, I couldn’t stop about years ago when I 1st started blogging…How stupid I felt when I first set-up my blog….I still remember my 1st blog…..Then I decided I want to delete it…and then Shopa was born using blogspot.com…..I still remember it was q8eya.blogspot.com and then a dear friend helped me getting my own domain….

  I still remember how excited I would be to find comments and how I would make time to reply to every single comment….Then I started neglecting my blog….The place where I used to put down my thoughts on a regular basis…..People forgot all about me….And funny that today it took me a LONG time to figure out how to upload this image into my post!! This tells me alot on how bad of a relationship I have with my blog……

  Truth is, even though I do not write here as often, I am always around….I keep coming back to read old posts written by me…..Some posts that I have even removed and kept them as drafts for personal reasons….This blog means a lot to me….It teaches me about myself….How I think and react…..And most importantly that I will never be the same person I am…..Some posts does not even make any sense to me anymore…..It sometimes feel that some other girl was writing them…But it was me who wrote all of them….The girl has grown up…..Many things are the same yet many things have changed as well….

  PS: It’s a great movie, so if you have not seen it yet, do so ASAP.

• 

  A New Year….Not a New Start….

  Posted: January 2nd, 2010, 11:46pm PST by shopa

  It seems that this keeps happening…..It happened before where I said that my main New Year’s resolution is to not be hurt again….The year would pass by and I wouldn’t not…But soon after….The year after…I get hurt again…I just don’t understand how others are doing this….How are they surviving all of this…..I feel as if I cannot…But friends keep telling me I am a strong girl….But what if I am not a strong girl afterall….Is it possible that love can overcome the feeling of being hurt? and if you let love win, how can you ensure that you will not be hurt the same way again…..

  This is too much to think about during a nice morning plus I have way too much work to do….This is going to be a good year…2010 is going to be a good year with lots of changes……I am changing careers once again…well not really a big move but it will be a challenge, a new one that will start in few weeks….Soon I will be moving into the new house….Finally….Something that I am very excited about…Plus I have my friends that I love….Many new friends as well….and yet more new people to meet this year…..

  Happy New Year’s my readers, if there are still any readers out there.

• 

  To Think…..Or Not

  Posted: December 8th, 2009, 10:01pm PST by shopa

  Maybe that is the one thing I should learn from him; not to think about stuff….But I honestly do wish I was able to….I have always been a girl that analyze every damn thing and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together….I end up knowing the whole story doing so….Maybe I wouldn’t be like that if people have been honest….But again, am I being honest with people?

  Is it okay for a girl to go crazy and cry for her boyfriend was kissing a random girl in a club while he was drunk when she did the exact same thing yet not drunk? Why do we pretend to be so innocent when in reality no one of us in innocent. What is it with cheating that makes us want to do it although we know it is wrong? and is it so fucking hard to break-up with someone when things keep going the wrong way? You 2 hardly talk anymore, and when you do it is all yelling and screaming…..You two barley see each other anymore and never go out on dates anymore….There is this huge gap between you….You even feel sometimes that you have no feelings for him….Yet, calling an end it is a hard thing for both….

  Is it because we just like the idea of having someone in fear if we end it, we will be labeled as the “single” ones? Or is it because of the many years and months we invested in this relationship and just do not want to face the truth that it was a loss investment? What if it was because you loved them so much and had hope that it will eventually work….just like a love miracle…

  I don’t even want to reread this post or proof read it…..I just wrote what’s on my mind and I know it’s me blabbing once again but….This is how I feel right now…

• 

  Rainy Days

  Posted: November 21st, 2009, 4:51am PST by shopa

  There is something about me and rainy days….I always get a feeling every time I wake up and look out the window searching for a sign of a sunshine… All I see is the darkness of the stupid clouds… Oh those stupid clouds! I cannot feel my usual energy… After all, I am a girl that takes her energy from the sun… I step into the boiling shower and try to remember a happy sunny day…. As I leave my room, I step back to pick up a shawl to warm me… Funny I picked the one you gave me… My favorite one…. Wrapped around me, I can smell you! Is it even possible to maintain someone’s smell after all those years; I wonder! The streets seem empty yet traffic cannot get any worse… I can hardly see the highway because of the rain poring on my windshield… Stupid rain, why can’t you stop! The sky looks like the devil cursing me… Music is playing through my iPod…. I can feel you sitting next to me… I look! But there is no one…. I feel you! I smell you!!! But I cannot see you… Or is it just the hallucination of a rainy day? Feeling you makes me happy… Smelling you gives me joy… The rain has stopped….and I wonder does it rain up there where you are? I have never imagined heaven of anything but beautiful sunny days.

• 

  Confused Him; or Confused Me?

  Posted: November 4th, 2009, 12:40am PST by shopa

  He says go right…I go right….He gets upset….He says he means go left…He says go right…I go left….He gets upset….He says right is right!!

  He said things can get boring…So is he getting bored after those 15 months? I changed the style….So things don’t seem like a routine…On the 1st day he BBMs complaining if I am following a new style!!

  What am I supposed to do?! I am confused! Is it me? Or is it just him too difficult for me to understand?

• 

  And We Are Back…..

  Posted: October 25th, 2009, 11:18pm PDT by shopa

  I was very surprised that I did not get a single comment on my last few posts…..People do not like Shopa anymore! I thought to myself….They forgot all about you Shopa, I kept repeating myself…Then I noticed that my blog is not showing in Safat…..This can be one reason…but hey, I still have some loyal readers, don’t I? Anyways, last week I went back to my blog to retrieve an older post and realized that my blog has some issues with links…..Nothing works….My archives nothing….Comment page….Nothing….all nothing….I tried fixing it but I guess I messed it up even more…..

  It was time to declare it a loss and called for help….This morning and after the effort of 2 dear friends, Shopaholic Q8eya is back to normal life and her blog is all okay…..

  Thank you Micho. Thank you Yazeed, who was the one who finally fixed it for me.

• 

  He Is Yours…..

  Posted: October 16th, 2009, 1:37pm PDT by shopa

  This morning…..A nightmare once again…..I woke up panicking….But I found myself in his arms….He hugged me closer to him….I closed my eyes…..I was very tired….But all I could do is think…..Nothing does matter…..Nothing….. Because at the end of the day he will always come back to me…..and that’s what love is all about….

• 

  Double Blast From the Past….

  Posted: October 6th, 2009, 1:23am PDT by shopa

  Sitting in a meeting, my phone rings….A number that I do not recognize….I ignore it…..It rings again within 2 minutes…..I ignore once again…..For the third time, it rings again…..I excuse myself out of the meeting thinking this might be urgent and pick up the phone….”Hellooo” I pick up….

  “Hiii….Shopa?”
  “Yes, who is this?”
  “How are you?”
  “I am good…..how are you?”
  “I am good….MAN I miss you!!”
  “Sorry but who is this?”
  “You didn’t recognize my voice, did you?”
  “Well it sounds very familiar but sorry no”
  “Guess”
  “I seriously don’t have time for this, I’m in a meeting”
  “C’mon, it’s been such a long time.”
  “Okay I am hanging up….Goodbye”
  “WAIT! Call me after your meeting?”
  “No I will not! not until you tell me who you are”
  “Go back to your meeting…I know you will call me…”
  “NO I WON”T…Good bye”
  “Okay, I will msg you something and you will”
  “Good bye”

• 

  TGIT

  Posted: October 1st, 2009, 4:45am PDT by shopa

  I have never been in my life been so excited about the weekend like I am today. This was one hell of a long week and I am so happy I am only 1 hour away from the start of my weekend. I have a feeling it will be a good weekend and I will make it a good one!

  Have a great weekend everybody!

• 

  Shopa Misses Blogging

  Posted: September 29th, 2009, 11:22pm PDT by shopa

  

  I do! I miss blogging! I miss writing my thoughts and life updates. Many times I go back and read old posts and think…..What a different person I was at the time…..Sometimes I feel that years has passed yet I still have the same feeling…I cannot believe that it has been over a month since my last post! And since I hate September and love the song “Wake me up when September ends”, I have decided to wake up through my blog…..Starting tomorrow Oct. 1st, I will be writing one post per day…Maybe then I will be able to renew my lost relationship with the Shopaholic Q8eya.